Poop

This is an unavoidable topic of conversation when living in a third world country. It's very exciting when it comes out solid, but that can be rare. I've had many bouts of diarrhea in my nearly 2 months in country, but luckily, it is becoming less frequent. However, Saturday, the monster returned. Typically, it's pretty easy to deal with, except that on Sunday I had to travel about 3 hours by chicken bus for my volunteer visit. A few of us traveling in the same direction met up at the bus stop in San Lucas and waited for about an hour to catch the right bus. During the wait, however, I had to find a bathroom. I went searching for one, and made sure to bring my toilet paper with me. (Always carry t.p. when traveling!) BUT, I forgot to bring some money, and in public bathrooms, payment is required.

I found a bathroom in the local market where a little girl and her mother were in charge of collecting 1 Quetzal and handing out toilet paper. Immediately when I saw them, I thought, "Oh shit." I definitely did not have time to go back and grab a Q and come back to the bathroom. So I tried convincing them that I have my own t.p. But they said no, they were being watched by the manager and couldn't let me go in. I told them that I had to use it. They asked if I was going to vomit. No, I said, it's coming from the other end. I told them I would use my own t.p. and then bring a Q back when I was done. I promised. The never agreed, but didn't stop me either.

I am a terrible person. I did not return with the Q to pay them. But my rationale was that I used my own toilet paper, and I didn't want to miss the next bus.

We found a bus by 10:15 or so and hopped on. I squeezed in as the third person on a school bus seat made for two, which normally would be fine, but under these circumstances, it was not very comfortable. It was supposed to be about a 2 hour ride. I could make it, right? I was reading, trying to distract myself, then all of a sudden the bus began to swerve all over the pass in order to pass a line of other cars and buses and then abruptly came to a stop. What happened is that the driver passed the entire line stopped at the construction, so that we could be the first in line. Great. 30 extra minutes on the bus. But it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

The urge to poop came back. I looked out the window. Tons of locals were there, making money off of the construction by selling food to those stopped. Perfect. No trees to hide behind, and lots of people around. But, there was a deep ravine. I got up, had Joey save my seat and watch my stuff for me, and walked off the bus, my trusty toilet paper in hand. I found a nice little spot in the ravine and took care of business. However, while I was down there, I stepped in someone else's crap, which smelled terribly. (Dog? Person? I'm not sure.) I tried to wipe it off, but to no avail. I stunk up the bus.

Off to the races. The buses began to line up. Three in a row on the front line. The construction workers removed the 2x4 lined with nails and off we went. It was a race to the corner about 100 meters away. We won! And luckily slowed down just enough not to flip over while rounding the curve. But the others did not give up. In the next straight away, one of the other chicken buses passed us and took the lead. And in the following one, the other bus pulled up along side of us, but the corner and head on traffic came too quickly. We held second place for the rest of the ride. And I held in my diarrhea.