470 days; 15 ½ months. That’s how long it will have been since I’ve been in the States. Well, unless you count when I went to the US Embassy… technically, I was on U.S. soil. On Friday I’m flying into California to see my sister then we’re driving up to Oregon to see my family and friends. 15 days. I think it will be a good amount. Long enough to take a good break, but not too long. I’m really looking forward to it, but I also know from other volunteers that have gone home that it can be a big let down in some ways. Besides my family and a few close friends, the world isn’t waiting for my return. People have their own lives. I’m sure I will see people who haven’t even realized I’ve been gone. But that’s okay. This break will be wonderful despite that.
I need to take a step away from my life here and gain a new perspective on it. I’m not as happy as I was in Chahal, but I would like to be. I know that I have been holding myself back from happiness with all the comparisons that I make between the two sites and just the general longing for Chahal. Yes, it sucks that all this happened, but to be cliché, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. In a year I am going to be so damn strong! Under no circumstances am I ready to be done with Guatemala or with the Peace Corps, therefore, that means that I will be living in San Carlos Sija for the next 11 ½ months. So we have that settled. I also really enjoy being happy; thus, I must find how to be happy here. I have had a lot of qualms lately with being in such an urban, developed area. Gosh, I even have two sinks in my house. I haven’t had a sink since I came here. Where’s the hardship? But by changing my perspective, I am able to realize that I still encounter plenty of hardship, it just manifests itself in other ways. Also, I can still learn a lot from this community and contribute a lot as well.
Coming to Sija has helped me to realize that a small town in Guatemala can be developed and inhabited by an educated population. I would not call this the third world.
Despite all the advancements in Sija, there is still one very large problem: environmental degradation. That’s where I come in. Maybe they don’t need development help in other areas, but I would sure love to clean up the river and build a trail in the forest. First things first, though: a little jaunt home. Then, when I come back in May, I will be ready to be a Sijeña for a year.
22 April 2009
15 April 2009
FONACON
Remember when I was attacked by a pack of dogs in November? Remember why? I was biking home from the muni at nearly midnight because we were putting the finishing touches on a HUGE grant proposal for Las Conchas. Well, drum roll please.... SALIO APROBADO!! We got it, or mejor, they got it. I found out last week that the muni of Chahal will receive the Q299,095.53 that we had asked for (approximately $40,000). I am so excited for them and happy that all that work paid off. But admittedly, I am pretty bummed that I won't be there to execute the project with them. Yeah, I helped them get the money, which is fantastic, but they still need help doing the work to see the project through. It makes me feel miserable. I know it's not my fault, that's not what I'm talking about. What I mean is that I feel so sad that I can't see it through to the end. I feel like it's MY park and now I don't get to be a part of it. I want to whine like a child "it's not fair."
02 April 2009
24 March 2009
Starting Over
(Cerro Sija, right behind town -- where we will be developing a park and trail.)I finally am in a new site where I will stay for the next year and it feels pretty good. Although I miss Chahal terribly and always will, at least I’m no longer moving from hotel to hotel in Antigua. San Carlos Sija is a good place yet it’s hard not to compare. I need to not do that though because obviously it will greatly hinder my experience here, and I simply won’t be happy. I like to be happy.
One thing that will make the transition complete and make me feel more at home is finding a house. I am still somewhat homeless. I’m right now staying with the family of one of my counterparts, Verney, and have not unpacked. They are wonderful people, but I need some personal space and the ability to cook again. (This past week I have been inflicted one by one with a cold, a fever, and diarrhea. I want to make my own food.) Also, they live outside of town which makes it difficult for me to integrate into the community, and it’s just a hassle when I want to take a break during the day or play with my dog. And then there’s Don Chepito. He lives here with Verney’s family. He’s a scrawny old man with no teeth. He told me the other day he weighs 110 lbs. He’s hilarious to talk to, although he’s starting getting on my nerves. He doesn’t believe me that I can run or hike; it’s been funny, but it finally got to me. The other night we were talking about my trip to Cabricán, a neighboring town, the next day, where it was fería and my friend Sara lives there. Mayra, the girl who lives here, asked me how I was going to get there. I jokingly said that I’m going to walk. Don Chepito told me matter-of-factly that he can make it there walking, but that I would collapse half-way. Ay, I just get tired of hearing it day in and day out that I can’t do anything remotely physical. Although, the next day, I headed out to go for a run with Patita and we ran into Don Chepito. He grabbed my dog from me and told me to show him how I run. I said, “No, give me my dog. You can watch as I run away.” But instead he started running with her. So I ran. Then he started sprinting (picture this short, skinny, wrinkly, toothless old man with a cowboy hat), so of course I had to beat him. Hopefully that’ll shut him up for awhile.
One thing that will make the transition complete and make me feel more at home is finding a house. I am still somewhat homeless. I’m right now staying with the family of one of my counterparts, Verney, and have not unpacked. They are wonderful people, but I need some personal space and the ability to cook again. (This past week I have been inflicted one by one with a cold, a fever, and diarrhea. I want to make my own food.) Also, they live outside of town which makes it difficult for me to integrate into the community, and it’s just a hassle when I want to take a break during the day or play with my dog. And then there’s Don Chepito. He lives here with Verney’s family. He’s a scrawny old man with no teeth. He told me the other day he weighs 110 lbs. He’s hilarious to talk to, although he’s starting getting on my nerves. He doesn’t believe me that I can run or hike; it’s been funny, but it finally got to me. The other night we were talking about my trip to Cabricán, a neighboring town, the next day, where it was fería and my friend Sara lives there. Mayra, the girl who lives here, asked me how I was going to get there. I jokingly said that I’m going to walk. Don Chepito told me matter-of-factly that he can make it there walking, but that I would collapse half-way. Ay, I just get tired of hearing it day in and day out that I can’t do anything remotely physical. Although, the next day, I headed out to go for a run with Patita and we ran into Don Chepito. He grabbed my dog from me and told me to show him how I run. I said, “No, give me my dog. You can watch as I run away.” But instead he started running with her. So I ran. Then he started sprinting (picture this short, skinny, wrinkly, toothless old man with a cowboy hat), so of course I had to beat him. Hopefully that’ll shut him up for awhile.
Speaking of Patita, she is growing up very nicely. I was a terrible mother and left her for a month up in Chiabal, the site I was in for a week. The family did me a huge favor in taking care of her, even though she was being a pain in the ass. Of course, though, when I finally got her back she was dirty and skinny. But I have since taken care of that. Plus, I run with her – she does pretty well, and I let her sleep in my bed with me (we spooned the other night). She’s behaving better now. She no longer comes into the kitchen and eats chicken off the counter, and she even sits on command! There’s a big German Shepard that lives here whom she loves to play with … even if he doesn’t always appreciate it. She doesn’t realize, though, that he could fit her whole head in his mouth if he wanted to! I am so incredibly glad that I have her with me, although it makes my house hunt a bit more difficult, but we will find something soon. Most houses here are pegged right together and people keep their dogs on the roofs. I won’t do that to her, even though she does snore.
One of the hardest parts about the transition to Sija is that I have to start all over with my project and my community integration. In Chahal we had a lot going on, plus I had fantastic work relationships and friendships in town. I know that I will develop that again, but it is a pain in the ass to start over. Also, where I’m at now in the western part of the country, there is an extremely high concentration of volunteers. Plus, life is just easier out here. It’s a good support system to have if needed, but I miss the days when I was 3 hours from the next volunteer, 5 hours from a city, and would go more than a month without leaving. But, just because I’m near all these volunteers, does not mean that I have to throw myself into the PCV party scene. Although, this Friday I am going to the Vicente Fernandez concert!
(I went to Sara's town, Cabrican, for the feria a couple of weeks ago. They built this tower and lined the whole thing with fire works. The grand finale was the top turning into a crown and a halo flying off into the sky. Before, they also had smaller versions (a helicopter, a naked woman and a bull) which men put on and ran around with as the fireworks shot off into the crowd.)Here in Sija I am not the first volunteer, but I am the first ecotourism volunteer, which I prefer. (There were municipal development volunteers here before me.) I like having that ownership of the project. For the week that I was in Chiabal, Todos Santos, it was difficult trying to figure out what the volunteer I was replacing had done and had planned out for the future. So now I get to start the work and make it my own. And there’s actually a lot to be done which will keep me busy and keep me from missing Chahal too much. The ecotourism potential here isn’t that great, at least for international tourism – it’s nothing like Las Conchas. But, it is a lot more accessible – only 30 minutes from the second largest city in Guatemala. Right behind town is a huge hill with a beautiful forest. There’s already money for us to develop it ecotouristically. The other ecotourism site is Agua Caliente, which is only 15 minutes of the Interamerican Highway, so it has some big potential. A big part of my work here will be more related to forestry and helping develop and execute a sustainable management plan of a forest here (i.e. some logging with lots of reforestation). Supposedly, it’s the first of its kind in the region. We're working with Helvetas, a Swiss-funded NGO. I’ll also being doing environmental education, but more checking up on the teachers than actually giving the classes myself. I also want to help the town improve its trash management with a sanitary landfill, trash collection and recycling. You should see the “river” that runs through town. Not only is it full of trash but the sewage from the houses is funneled directly into it. (One of the houses that I found is on the bank of the river… it could be a great place – it has a yard where Patita could run around – but it also is too too close to the stench of that beautiful river.)
(My coworker Marta and I in the forest Colojitez measuring trees.)
(Agua Caliente... one of my sites. I sat in this pool staring at the woods for an hour!)One of the best parts about Sija is that I have found running partners (and not just Patita). I run with the doctor at noon, if I’m not busy at work. And once I move into town, I’ll have an early a.m. running buddy when I can’t make the noontime run. So, I suppose it’ll work for a year. Poco a poco I’ll feel at home… although Chahal will always be the Guatemalan pueblo that I call home.
18 March 2009
Por fin, an address, now you can send me things!
Still no house, but at least I have a town. My new address is:
Audrey Squires
Municipalidad de San Carlos Sija
San Carlos Sija, Quetzaltenango
Guatemala, Centro América
Letters and care packages are always welcome :) I'll write an update on the story of my life in the next few days, in the mean time you can check out the website of my town: www.sancarlossija.com.
Audrey Squires
Municipalidad de San Carlos Sija
San Carlos Sija, Quetzaltenango
Guatemala, Centro América
Letters and care packages are always welcome :) I'll write an update on the story of my life in the next few days, in the mean time you can check out the website of my town: www.sancarlossija.com.
05 March 2009
I guess it's about time to update you all...
... but where to begin?
Easy stuff first. Here's an address for me that will work for the rest of my time here. It's of the Peace Corps office. Eventually I'll have an address in my site... once I have a site...
Audrey Squires
Cuerpo de Paz
Apartado Postal 66
Antigua Guatemala
Sacatepequez 03001
Guatemala, Centro America
Okay, let's delve into this. My life has been completely turned upside down, and then thrown into a blender and shaken around. You could call me a milk shake, but not the kind that brings boys to the yard.
Last time I wrote I explained that I was leaving Chahal and moving to a village on the other side of the country, high up in the mountains, very different from my jungle life in Chahal. I thought it was a great idea to go for that site -- a complete change from what I had experienced. If I had to leave Chahal, why not make the most of it? What I didn't realize, is that I wasn't going to feel comfortable. Many of you know why, but I didn't feel like writing about it yet.
The thing is, I was attacked while I was running in Chahal. **I'm okay.** But I realized once I got to Chiabal, the new site, a very rural site, that I was freaked out by the isolation. I felt like people were hiding in the bushes (because that's how it happened in Chahal). I couldn't live a year like that. Thus, Peace Corps is working with me to find a place that I will be safe and comfortable in because I am not ready to be done with Guatemala, even if it is trying to get rid of me!
Within the next couple of days, I will be checking out a new possibility, which looks very promising. It's more urban, has a really pilas (gung-ho) counterpart, more volunteers are nearby. I didn't need all this before, but it seems I do now, which is okay. I'm just glad I was able to realize it and be honest with myself -- I don't always have to be as tough as I think I am.
Once it's a done deal, I'll let you all know the mystery site!
Easy stuff first. Here's an address for me that will work for the rest of my time here. It's of the Peace Corps office. Eventually I'll have an address in my site... once I have a site...
Audrey Squires
Cuerpo de Paz
Apartado Postal 66
Antigua Guatemala
Sacatepequez 03001
Guatemala, Centro America
Okay, let's delve into this. My life has been completely turned upside down, and then thrown into a blender and shaken around. You could call me a milk shake, but not the kind that brings boys to the yard.
Last time I wrote I explained that I was leaving Chahal and moving to a village on the other side of the country, high up in the mountains, very different from my jungle life in Chahal. I thought it was a great idea to go for that site -- a complete change from what I had experienced. If I had to leave Chahal, why not make the most of it? What I didn't realize, is that I wasn't going to feel comfortable. Many of you know why, but I didn't feel like writing about it yet.
The thing is, I was attacked while I was running in Chahal. **I'm okay.** But I realized once I got to Chiabal, the new site, a very rural site, that I was freaked out by the isolation. I felt like people were hiding in the bushes (because that's how it happened in Chahal). I couldn't live a year like that. Thus, Peace Corps is working with me to find a place that I will be safe and comfortable in because I am not ready to be done with Guatemala, even if it is trying to get rid of me!
Within the next couple of days, I will be checking out a new possibility, which looks very promising. It's more urban, has a really pilas (gung-ho) counterpart, more volunteers are nearby. I didn't need all this before, but it seems I do now, which is okay. I'm just glad I was able to realize it and be honest with myself -- I don't always have to be as tough as I think I am.
Once it's a done deal, I'll let you all know the mystery site!
04 February 2009
Adios Chahal, te quiero mucho
Today is my last night in my "doll house" in Chahal. This has been a very sad and unexpected turn of events for me. 2 1/2 weeks ago I had a security incident in my site and Peace Corps has decided that the best way to keep me safe is to change my site. As you can imagine, this was (and still is) absolutely devastating news. I love my pueblo and the people here, even if some of them are bad apples. I feel terrible leaving the project behind without being able to see it through and without being able to send another volunteer in my place. But the people I have worked with here in Chahal in the municipality are so amazing. I came back today to collect my things (including my LARGE puppy Patita -- I need her now more than ever) and will be leaving tomorrow. Tonight, the muni put together a goodbye dinner for me and what they said made me feel very special and thus even more sad to leave. They completely understand why this policy exists and they don't blame me at all. That is what I had been afraid of, but clearly I had no need to worry. They love me and I love them. Tears will be shed, and already have been.
Chahal is an amazing place and I am so glad that a few of you were able to visit it. The rest of you will have to come visit me in my new site (quitting was never an option; I will have to go through the acclimation process all over again, which will be very hard, but I am here for two years, punto).
Drum roll please..... my new site is a village in the municipality of Todos Santos Cuchumutanes, Huehuetenango (pronounced way-way tenangango). The name of the village is Chiabal, very close to my first site of Chahal. I chose it because it will be a completely new and different experience. I figure that if I have to leave Chahal, I should experience something new rather than try to repeat what I already had. Thus, it is a village rather than a town; it's at 3300 meters (almost 11,000 feet) rather than 240 meters; mountains instead of jungle; the people are Mam rather than Q'eqchi' (time to learn another Mayan language); there is a lack of water rather than an abundance; I'm working much more independently without structure instead of the 9 to 5 office setting. That's just a little intro to Chiabal. I'll write more as I get settled in this next week (I'm moving in on Friday). If you're curious google "Todos Santos, Guatemala" or "los Cuchumutanes, Guatemala" or "drunken horse races, Guatemala." I'll leave you wondering about the last one for now, unless you have the ganas to look it up.
I miss and love you all. I will be coming home and to California (sister) to visit in about 3 months (April 24 - May 8) and would love to see those of you who are around.
Cuidense.
Chahal is an amazing place and I am so glad that a few of you were able to visit it. The rest of you will have to come visit me in my new site (quitting was never an option; I will have to go through the acclimation process all over again, which will be very hard, but I am here for two years, punto).
Drum roll please..... my new site is a village in the municipality of Todos Santos Cuchumutanes, Huehuetenango (pronounced way-way tenangango). The name of the village is Chiabal, very close to my first site of Chahal. I chose it because it will be a completely new and different experience. I figure that if I have to leave Chahal, I should experience something new rather than try to repeat what I already had. Thus, it is a village rather than a town; it's at 3300 meters (almost 11,000 feet) rather than 240 meters; mountains instead of jungle; the people are Mam rather than Q'eqchi' (time to learn another Mayan language); there is a lack of water rather than an abundance; I'm working much more independently without structure instead of the 9 to 5 office setting. That's just a little intro to Chiabal. I'll write more as I get settled in this next week (I'm moving in on Friday). If you're curious google "Todos Santos, Guatemala" or "los Cuchumutanes, Guatemala" or "drunken horse races, Guatemala." I'll leave you wondering about the last one for now, unless you have the ganas to look it up.
I miss and love you all. I will be coming home and to California (sister) to visit in about 3 months (April 24 - May 8) and would love to see those of you who are around.
Cuidense.
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