Starting Over

(Cerro Sija, right behind town -- where we will be developing a park and trail.)

I finally am in a new site where I will stay for the next year and it feels pretty good. Although I miss Chahal terribly and always will, at least I’m no longer moving from hotel to hotel in Antigua. San Carlos Sija is a good place yet it’s hard not to compare. I need to not do that though because obviously it will greatly hinder my experience here, and I simply won’t be happy. I like to be happy.

One thing that will make the transition complete and make me feel more at home is finding a house. I am still somewhat homeless. I’m right now staying with the family of one of my counterparts, Verney, and have not unpacked. They are wonderful people, but I need some personal space and the ability to cook again. (This past week I have been inflicted one by one with a cold, a fever, and diarrhea. I want to make my own food.) Also, they live outside of town which makes it difficult for me to integrate into the community, and it’s just a hassle when I want to take a break during the day or play with my dog. And then there’s Don Chepito. He lives here with Verney’s family. He’s a scrawny old man with no teeth. He told me the other day he weighs 110 lbs. He’s hilarious to talk to, although he’s starting getting on my nerves. He doesn’t believe me that I can run or hike; it’s been funny, but it finally got to me. The other night we were talking about my trip to Cabricán, a neighboring town, the next day, where it was fería and my friend Sara lives there. Mayra, the girl who lives here, asked me how I was going to get there. I jokingly said that I’m going to walk. Don Chepito told me matter-of-factly that he can make it there walking, but that I would collapse half-way. Ay, I just get tired of hearing it day in and day out that I can’t do anything remotely physical. Although, the next day, I headed out to go for a run with Patita and we ran into Don Chepito. He grabbed my dog from me and told me to show him how I run. I said, “No, give me my dog. You can watch as I run away.” But instead he started running with her. So I ran. Then he started sprinting (picture this short, skinny, wrinkly, toothless old man with a cowboy hat), so of course I had to beat him. Hopefully that’ll shut him up for awhile.

Speaking of Patita, she is growing up very nicely. I was a terrible mother and left her for a month up in Chiabal, the site I was in for a week. The family did me a huge favor in taking care of her, even though she was being a pain in the ass. Of course, though, when I finally got her back she was dirty and skinny. But I have since taken care of that. Plus, I run with her – she does pretty well, and I let her sleep in my bed with me (we spooned the other night). She’s behaving better now. She no longer comes into the kitchen and eats chicken off the counter, and she even sits on command! There’s a big German Shepard that lives here whom she loves to play with … even if he doesn’t always appreciate it. She doesn’t realize, though, that he could fit her whole head in his mouth if he wanted to! I am so incredibly glad that I have her with me, although it makes my house hunt a bit more difficult, but we will find something soon. Most houses here are pegged right together and people keep their dogs on the roofs. I won’t do that to her, even though she does snore.

One of the hardest parts about the transition to Sija is that I have to start all over with my project and my community integration. In Chahal we had a lot going on, plus I had fantastic work relationships and friendships in town. I know that I will develop that again, but it is a pain in the ass to start over. Also, where I’m at now in the western part of the country, there is an extremely high concentration of volunteers. Plus, life is just easier out here. It’s a good support system to have if needed, but I miss the days when I was 3 hours from the next volunteer, 5 hours from a city, and would go more than a month without leaving. But, just because I’m near all these volunteers, does not mean that I have to throw myself into the PCV party scene. Although, this Friday I am going to the Vicente Fernandez concert!

(I went to Sara's town, Cabrican, for the feria a couple of weeks ago. They built this tower and lined the whole thing with fire works. The grand finale was the top turning into a crown and a halo flying off into the sky. Before, they also had smaller versions (a helicopter, a naked woman and a bull) which men put on and ran around with as the fireworks shot off into the crowd.)

Here in Sija I am not the first volunteer, but I am the first ecotourism volunteer, which I prefer. (There were municipal development volunteers here before me.) I like having that ownership of the project. For the week that I was in Chiabal, Todos Santos, it was difficult trying to figure out what the volunteer I was replacing had done and had planned out for the future. So now I get to start the work and make it my own. And there’s actually a lot to be done which will keep me busy and keep me from missing Chahal too much. The ecotourism potential here isn’t that great, at least for international tourism – it’s nothing like Las Conchas. But, it is a lot more accessible – only 30 minutes from the second largest city in Guatemala. Right behind town is a huge hill with a beautiful forest. There’s already money for us to develop it ecotouristically. The other ecotourism site is Agua Caliente, which is only 15 minutes of the Interamerican Highway, so it has some big potential. A big part of my work here will be more related to forestry and helping develop and execute a sustainable management plan of a forest here (i.e. some logging with lots of reforestation). Supposedly, it’s the first of its kind in the region. We're working with Helvetas, a Swiss-funded NGO. I’ll also being doing environmental education, but more checking up on the teachers than actually giving the classes myself. I also want to help the town improve its trash management with a sanitary landfill, trash collection and recycling. You should see the “river” that runs through town. Not only is it full of trash but the sewage from the houses is funneled directly into it. (One of the houses that I found is on the bank of the river… it could be a great place – it has a yard where Patita could run around – but it also is too too close to the stench of that beautiful river.)

(My coworker Marta and I in the forest Colojitez measuring trees.)

(Agua Caliente... one of my sites. I sat in this pool staring at the woods for an hour!)

One of the best parts about Sija is that I have found running partners (and not just Patita). I run with the doctor at noon, if I’m not busy at work. And once I move into town, I’ll have an early a.m. running buddy when I can’t make the noontime run. So, I suppose it’ll work for a year. Poco a poco I’ll feel at home… although Chahal will always be the Guatemalan pueblo that I call home.

Por fin, an address, now you can send me things!

Still no house, but at least I have a town. My new address is:

Audrey Squires
Municipalidad de San Carlos Sija
San Carlos Sija, Quetzaltenango
Guatemala, Centro América

Letters and care packages are always welcome :) I'll write an update on the story of my life in the next few days, in the mean time you can check out the website of my town: www.sancarlossija.com.

I guess it's about time to update you all...

... but where to begin?


Easy stuff first. Here's an address for me that will work for the rest of my time here. It's of the Peace Corps office. Eventually I'll have an address in my site... once I have a site...


Audrey Squires
Cuerpo de Paz
Apartado Postal 66
Antigua Guatemala
Sacatepequez 03001
Guatemala, Centro America


Okay, let's delve into this. My life has been completely turned upside down, and then thrown into a blender and shaken around. You could call me a milk shake, but not the kind that brings boys to the yard.

Last time I wrote I explained that I was leaving Chahal and moving to a village on the other side of the country, high up in the mountains, very different from my jungle life in Chahal. I thought it was a great idea to go for that site -- a complete change from what I had experienced. If I had to leave Chahal, why not make the most of it? What I didn't realize, is that I wasn't going to feel comfortable. Many of you know why, but I didn't feel like writing about it yet.

The thing is, I was attacked while I was running in Chahal. **I'm okay.** But I realized once I got to Chiabal, the new site, a very rural site, that I was freaked out by the isolation. I felt like people were hiding in the bushes (because that's how it happened in Chahal). I couldn't live a year like that. Thus, Peace Corps is working with me to find a place that I will be safe and comfortable in because I am not ready to be done with Guatemala, even if it is trying to get rid of me!

Within the next couple of days, I will be checking out a new possibility, which looks very promising. It's more urban, has a really pilas (gung-ho) counterpart, more volunteers are nearby. I didn't need all this before, but it seems I do now, which is okay. I'm just glad I was able to realize it and be honest with myself -- I don't always have to be as tough as I think I am.

Once it's a done deal, I'll let you all know the mystery site!

Adios Chahal, te quiero mucho

Today is my last night in my "doll house" in Chahal. This has been a very sad and unexpected turn of events for me. 2 1/2 weeks ago I had a security incident in my site and Peace Corps has decided that the best way to keep me safe is to change my site. As you can imagine, this was (and still is) absolutely devastating news. I love my pueblo and the people here, even if some of them are bad apples. I feel terrible leaving the project behind without being able to see it through and without being able to send another volunteer in my place. But the people I have worked with here in Chahal in the municipality are so amazing. I came back today to collect my things (including my LARGE puppy Patita -- I need her now more than ever) and will be leaving tomorrow. Tonight, the muni put together a goodbye dinner for me and what they said made me feel very special and thus even more sad to leave. They completely understand why this policy exists and they don't blame me at all. That is what I had been afraid of, but clearly I had no need to worry. They love me and I love them. Tears will be shed, and already have been.

Chahal is an amazing place and I am so glad that a few of you were able to visit it. The rest of you will have to come visit me in my new site (quitting was never an option; I will have to go through the acclimation process all over again, which will be very hard, but I am here for two years, punto).

Drum roll please..... my new site is a village in the municipality of Todos Santos Cuchumutanes, Huehuetenango (pronounced way-way tenangango). The name of the village is Chiabal, very close to my first site of Chahal. I chose it because it will be a completely new and different experience. I figure that if I have to leave Chahal, I should experience something new rather than try to repeat what I already had. Thus, it is a village rather than a town; it's at 3300 meters (almost 11,000 feet) rather than 240 meters; mountains instead of jungle; the people are Mam rather than Q'eqchi' (time to learn another Mayan language); there is a lack of water rather than an abundance; I'm working much more independently without structure instead of the 9 to 5 office setting. That's just a little intro to Chiabal. I'll write more as I get settled in this next week (I'm moving in on Friday). If you're curious google "Todos Santos, Guatemala" or "los Cuchumutanes, Guatemala" or "drunken horse races, Guatemala." I'll leave you wondering about the last one for now, unless you have the ganas to look it up.

I miss and love you all. I will be coming home and to California (sister) to visit in about 3 months (April 24 - May 8) and would love to see those of you who are around.

Cuidense.

Hi family, meet Guatemala

Life. It's interesting.

I'll start with updating ya'll on the past month (Christmas in Guatemala, family visit, etc.) and let that settle in and next time I write I'll update you with the future. Yes, I have a time machine, and a hovercraft, actually. The hovercraft came in very handy while my family was visiting. But we had to return it to Thrifty so I no longer have it.

It was beyond wonderful to see my family again after nearly a year apart. We toured around Guatemala in the hovercraft: a day in Antigua to get acclamated, traversed the treacherous streets of the capital and headed north through Rio Dulce to get to Tikal (the Mayan ruins). There we awoke to howler monkeys and then spent the day climbing temples. We made it to Chahal for New Year's Eve. Jen and I went to the Catholic mass in San Agustin, then we dragged Chris to the mass in San Fernando. (Chris loves churches.) And the whole night was filled with fireworks and gunshots. Quite restful, and a good first impression of Chahal for my family.

We only had a couple days in my site, so I dragged them to the park and out to a village for lunch. My dad played handy man at my house to make it more liveable. He even built a little dog house for Patita.

After Chahal we looped back to Antigua through Coban where my siblings experienced a Guatemalan discoteca. It was the first time all three of us had gone to a bar together because I turned 21 only two years ago and we don't live in the same place and haven't for quite awhile. Chris played protective big brother and scared off creepy guys and Jennifer was proposed to. I don't know why she declined.

10 days wasn't long enough for the family to really get to know Guatemala, but it was a good introduction. I did realize, however, that I planned the trip from the perspective of already living in Guatemala for a year. I allowed my family to have a 1-day acclimation period before heading out. No wonder they got tired and cranky :)

----

Rewinding now to Christmas -- I spent it in my site, which was fun, a little dramatic, but a good experience overall. The tradition in Guatemala, and most latin countries, is to eat tamales on Christmas Eve and hug at midnight. I visited various families that I'm friends with and at midnight was with the family that I used to live with. We hugged and set off fireworks. The next day I visited my other host family and also ate tamales with them. I was trying to see how many tamales I could eat for Christmas. (They're big and laced with animal fat.) I ate 4. I was relatively impressed with myself, but I think next year I can do better.

After my family left, I headed back to Chahal and spent a couple relatively unproductive weeks in site -- my counterpart was on vacation. I tried to get some work done -- I built some trails and guard rails in the park with the workers there and did the legwork for starting environmental education in some villages. It's hard to work alone, though, which is as it should be. Peace Corps is focused on sustainable development. The work I do is not sustainable if I'm not working with a host country national to capacitate him or her to continue the work when I leave. Thus, I wasn't too perturbed by the lack of work. Life was tranquila --- I spent a weekend chapeando the monte in my yard (i.e. mowing the lawn with my machete), which was very hard work, but a lot of fun. Also, my roommate and I started a basketball team with 8 - 13 year-old girls, so I wasn't completely bored.

Oh yeah, and I passed my year-in-country mark this month: January 9th! About 14 1/2 left. And I'm coming home to visit in April/May. Flying into see my sis in California on April 24th, running the Big Sur, then road-tripping up to Oregon after a few days. I'll be there until May 8th, so I hope to see as many of you as possible!

I'll write again soon; there's a lot more to share, but poco a poco.

I Live in a Doll House

I’ve been in my new house for 5 weeks now, and I love it. We call it La Casa de Muñecas (The Doll House) and you can see why:

It also reminds me of the gingerbread house in Hansel and Gretel. Not quite what I pictured when I imagined my life in the Peace Corps!

At first it was a little scary moving out of the family life, but I’ve grown accustomed to it and am by no means lonely. My roommate and I are getting along fabulously, although it is at times difficult with the cultural differences and personality differences. We have constant visits from the neighbor children. Instead of sitting around and chatting about the same things (my dog, the weather, the gunshots), I’ve started doing arts and crafts projects with them. The kids that visit us are three sisters, Veronica, 14, Blanca, 10, and Flori, 5, and are just wonderful. They are going to be one of my secondary projects while I’m here. They moved to Chahal with their mom about when I did to be closer to their dad and his first family. The dad comes to visit a few times a week, but the four women are on their own. They have no friends here except for our other neighbor, Juliana, and her two children. (The first family is a ladina family and the second is Q’eqchi’ but they get along wonderfully, which is rare here.) Thus, these girls are going to be my secondary project – teach them new things and just simply be their friend.

The other family – Juliana and her kids – is also a marvelous family. Juliana is from one of the villages and splits her time between there and the town. When I have time, I’m going to spend a few days with her in the village. I’ve visited communities, but just short planned visits with the muni; with Juliana I will be able to really get to know the everyday life and the people in a rural village. Also, if at some point my roommate leaves and I can’t afford the Doll House alone, Juliana said I can move in with them – another experience that I would like to have: living with an indigenous family. It would be quite a change from living alone, but it would be something I would never forget. And it would keep my life interesting.

I don’t know how I was so oblivious to this my first eight months here, but the racism is extreme in this pueblo. It’s quite interesting because the ladinos are the minority. The demographic is in the favor of the indigenous (94% indigenous in the municipality as a whole, with a slightly lower percentage in the “urban” area), yet they are the marginalized group. Typically the discrimination isn’t overt, but it is there in the form of bigoted remarks and general poor treatment in stores and offices. I’ve noticed that many ladinos will use usted (second person formal, shows respect) with other ladinos that come into their shops or into the muni and will use vos (very informal second person, used for close friends/family or can be used to show you think you are above the other) with the indigenous that come in for the same services. It bothers me a lot, but I can’t change people’s attitudes and behaviors. What I can do, at least, is become friends with Q’eqchi’ people and treat them with respect and maybe someone will notice that I don’t feel that I am above them. I already made the first step toward that by moving to the neighborhood I am now in.

Santo Domingo is nearly all Q’eqchi’ whereas my old neighborhood, El Centro, was nearly all ladino. Many people told me not to move to Santo Domingo, that it is dangerous with all the indigenous people there, but I find it to be a very friendly, tranquil neighborhood. And now it will be easier to get to know their culture and learn their language. I will still keep the friendships I already made with ladinos (I’m not about to practice reverse discrimination), but I will keep a little bit more distance than I had. I don’t want to feel like I am condoning their behaviors by being too close with them.

With respect to work, it’s going well. The ball is finally rolling. I would say it’s a snowball rolling down a hill gradually growing larger, but that wouldn’t make sense in the jungle. Perhaps a mud ball? Anyway, the first six months were passed with little tangible progress. Being the first volunteer here, it took me awhile to get to know the project and how to develop it. Not to mention, to learn to live and work in this culture. As well, support was lacking from the muni at the beginning. At six months in site, I felt like the work finally started flowing. We wrote a large grant proposal for basic infrastructure in the park (the response will come next month… cross your fingers!) and the communication improved markedly with the mayor. At eight months, we finally made visible progress in the park. We hacked at the trails with pick axes to create better drainage and are now in the process of defining new trails to our current infrastructure. Tomorrow we will begin planting native plants and flowers. Slowly but surely we are making progress. The mayor, however, commented today that nothing has changed there since I’ve been here. I’m not about to make excuses to him, but it takes time, support and money; the latter two of the three were not present at the beginning. Additionally, planning has to happen before action. But he’s not upset, just a little disappointed and is encouraging us to get working. Our relationship has developed quite nicely in fact (if you remember, in the beginning we didn’t get along very well) – when I mentioned that my family is coming, he asked if my dad likes whiskey. Although they don’t speak the same language, they should get along just fine.

Tomorrow, my counterpart and I will be presenting the Annual Operating Plan for the park for 2009 to the mayor and his council. I expect they will approve it and we will buckle down and begin to make a dent in the park. Although in the next few weeks we won’t get much done – my family’s coming to visit in 10 days! It has been over 11 months since I have seen them. The park can wait for a few more weeks.

And I can't forget to mention my puppy, Patita (little foot). She is an adorable pain. She's almost four months old and just loves to chew on everything, especially me! I love having her in the house, and we brought her home just in time -- she was about two days away from death due to malnutrition. But now she's chubby and happy!

Here are links to pictures I just put up. They're from a few months ago when Allison, Eefje, Jeanne and Erin came to visit, but I just now managed to upload them.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2030331&l=bd75b&id=27500355

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2030332&l=88479&id=27500355

My friend, the scorpion

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be stung by a scorpion? Well, if you don’t want to go find out for yourself, I’ll describe it.

First, you may be wondering how I managed to be stung by a scorpion. They abound in this area, first off. I was moving a concrete block in my kitchen on Monday night so that we could put the stove on top of it and felt a sting on the inside of my left wrist. Luckily, it didn’t cause me to drop the block on my feet! I set it down and saw the evil thing stuck to the back of the block. I freaked out not knowing how serious the sting is. We actually were having a little party at the house that night for my housemate’s birthday, and some of the guests just laughed at me and said there’s nothing I can do. They said it would hurt where it stung me and that my tongue would fall asleep. They were right … at first.

I felt like my arm was broken. But it wasn’t unbearable. It was a couple hours later when I got up and walked around that I started feeling weak and a bit dizzy. I quickly did what I needed to do to get ready for bed and laid down. I was at the point where, if I kept on walking, I would collapse. At this point, my whole body fell asleep, but not just that. I felt very heavy. I took some Benadryl at this point, but my throat had swollen up or something, and the pills did not go down easily.

Laying flat on my back was the best, but if I rolled to a side, there would be extreme pressure on the part of my body that I had moved – like a fat man were sitting on me. So I laid as flat as possible, but I couldn’t sleep like that. I think eventually I fell asleep, but I set my alarm for 2am so that I would wake up and make sure I was still alive. I had no idea how serious this could be and thus was admittedly a bit freaked out.

In the morning I still couldn’t move. I sat up for a second and felt as if a ton of rock were pushing down on me, so I laid back down. My big problem, however, was that I needed to pee. I actually thought I would have to wet my bed because I didn’t think I could walk to the bathroom. I eventually gave it a shot and managed to shuffle there while clutching the wall. Once my body became acclimated to moving, it began to flush out this weird sensation, but not completely. I returned to bed and slept all morning. When I finally got up and went out, I moved sluggishly. However, I had been invited to play in a basketball tournament in the evening. I decided I’d give it a shot. The first couple times up and down the court I became dizzy and thought I’d collapse. Luckily, that passed quickly. I had breathing problems also – I felt as if I had just smoked a pack of cigarettes and was trying to exercise at altitude (not that I would know what that feels like). In the end, the exercise was good to flush out the poison.

Today, I feel fine, except for a sore arm. So now it’s funny, but at the time I was pretty freaked out. Now I wonder, what will bite/sting me next? I do have some wonderful luck. Dog, check. Scorpion, check. Next?? Monkey? Jaguar?


New House

I’ve been in my new house for just over three weeks now, and I’m really content with the move. As I’ve mentioned before, the house is adorable and has a flushing toilet inside. The neighbors have turned out to be quite friendly, and are both Q’eqchi’ and Ladino so that I can continue getting to know both cultures. My roommate, Jacqueline, and I are getting along really well. We make dinner together and hang out and have intelligent conversations in Spanish (which is something I was lacking here). We went and played basketball the other night. And we have our puppy, Patita. First she was Cacao, which turned out to be a masculine name; then Canela (Spanish for Cinnamon) but that was too cutesy; now I’ve named her Patita (little foot) because she had a problem with her foot. She is adorable. So very playful. I’m so glad I have her.

On Monday (as I mentioned above), we had our first little dinner party. It was Jacque’s birthday, so I made dinner and a cake and we invited a couple of people over. Although we only have one fork, it was fantastic … until I was stung by the scorpion!